As I sat here, clipping my toes and having cut myself with a razor...this being the second time, since my little razor facade when I was five...I thought about something I don't generally think about.
If I think too much.
In my own perspective and lifestyle, I tend to analyze and consider many different points of view and beliefs in media, culture, work, etc. Because of this, I am capable of seeing the world in many different ways and taking in knowledge more readily. At the same time, this also makes it harder to listen to others with more experience than I do, I think. I think it also tends to aggravate specific people because:
A) I tend to be able to convey my many different thoughts clearly, making people confused or generally unable to understand what I'm saying-without me realizing it as such, making me angry.
B) When I'm certain of something, I tend to get defensive or aggressive about something I know or feel, and that tends to cause argument or misunderstanding which can cost me or others. This also tends to jump to responsibilities I have or things in my life that I find enjoyable.
Now, the solution would likely be to think less, but I find that prospect very hard to believe or act upon because of my disorder and who I am, and it's also because I want to be able to think. I want to be able to think and see things clearly in life...I want to be able to think so that I can interact with many different people without sounding dumb or inexperienced or what-have-you.
You should have called me. I may not be able to speak right now, but I could have made sympathetic noises. Feel better.
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